SaT nIghT- waaay chiiill. i spent the day @ work then came home to a house full of famiily! i love our family parties.. nothing but hanging out, and catching up with people you barely talk to. it felt sooo good to laugh hard and eat sooo much!! oh god- the food was seriously the bESTEST!!!!  my cuzns and i were eating as if it were the last meal of our lives! ahhah...

"hella & hecka" came to visit! i was soo excited to see them! those girls are "hella" funny! haha- especially when we turned my family room into club SiMaNgaN!! hahah.. thanx to maryanne and her contribution of some good champagne and oj (sounds wierd i know, but trust me, its sooo good!)  we all had our buzz goin! ahhaha.. then my mom played, "dip it low" numerous times to the point where i just cant listen to that song anymore... we're planning a trip to TJ/ Rosarito soon- so anyone wants to come let me know in advance! also, i guess OCTOBER 9th?!  is something special.... i forgot what.. but im suppose to keep that date cleared for my twins.. :O)

i love family. i wish i could see them everyday :O( but everyone's always soo busy.. so i always look forward to family parties.

the evening was well worth my time staying in- if i didnt, i never wouldve gotten to see my twin cousins & maryanne! so im happy for that! Overall, i give it a 2 thumbs up!

i love the rice girls.. HAHAHAHAHHA... oh god.

<3: crys

work was good.. the day was good. i kinda wanna go out and do something.. but dunno what.. parker invited me over to do some hmwk and sip on some gin.. but he reminded me that i have a paper to write as well... *aRgHH!*  so- next time park!

I got an unexpected call from kyle today- ya he had a lil too much fun last night and got kicked out of the bar! hahah! (thatta kid) - oh this is kyle:

his bday is this sunday- so im sure he'll be just as beligerent as he was last night.. ahhaha

-i talked to brandon today too, he had work then after that, hittin the books - good stuff.. hope he had a great day!

-ryan got his wisdom teeth taken out today too.. *ouch* i hope he feels better soon - in time for naughty school girl night on friday.. haha! im sure he'll force himself to go.. its his favorate theme *dork* - but feel better :)

here are some other pics from a couple months ago: have fun.

good stuff.  good times.  more to come. so leave some.

<3: crys

today was a good day. :)  i went to bed around... 5am or so- due to certain random drunk calls i recieved throughout the night. haha! some of my friends went clubbing & got drunk so they thought of me and called my ass numerous times and told me what the scene was like..

all i can say is: "wow", "interesting" and "WH@T the FcuK!?"

but anyway- ya, went to bed 5am- woke up @ 9am cuz AzRA called me!  she didnt have class till around noon- so we decided that i should get up and we grab some breakfast by the beach.. and thats exactly what we did. I missed her alot. So when she called, i was happy! we've all been busy with work and school n crap so it was really good to sit and catch up with things.. i really do consider her my bffers. we talked about how its great how no matter how crazy our schedules are like, we always make time for eachother.. even if its for a little bit.. small things do count and it matters more. but ya, we had breakfast, had a few laughs, then it was back to the crazy lives we lead. work sucked, as usual.. but it went by pretty fast. faster than i thought, at least. then i came home, was on an extreme cleaning mode and cleaned the whole friggin' house, then put on some workout apparel and hit the gym-ster.  so now, in conclusion, i cant even sit or stand without being in major pain, cuz of the ab workouts.. but im a step closer to getting the janet jackson abs.. hahah.. i met a few people @ the gym too!! they're totally cool and they helped me with my sets.. good stuff! 

i still miss a lot of things- but things are starting to look brighter. unless, its always been that way, i just chose not to see it. i've accepted what has happened fully now, and now that i see that holding out has gotten me nowhere, i need to start moving again. if youre asking me to give in, im not. YOU speak up and tell me what you want- cuz as of now, im going to keep moving.. so make your move..  <-- you know, shiiiish like that... :)

eh- ive written a novel. so there's my daily gossip about myself for the day. prolly not as interesting as everyone else's- but thats all im going to reveal. hahaha

you think you know.. but you have NOOOOOO idea.

Just call me & tell me you miss me already you want me already

 MY ROLE MODEL!!!!!  lately, ive been working out to the maaxx. gotta find some sort of way to release this built of stress & frustration.. so why not do situps and make myself look like janet??!!!  god.  ahhaha.  i miss a lot of things. i miss sincerity. i miss feeling wanted. i miss being with someone. The past couple days ive been working my ass off with school.. and my job(s).  It keeps me busy, and it keeps me going. Yet, im very thankful for my friends- who always brings smiles to my face everytime i hear from them.

i <3 you guys..     im grabbing a hold of things now. im in control of a lot of stuff.. and hopefully someone will come along and be there to appreciate it with me. If not, then i know god has a bigger plan - and its just not time yet... so im content.. i cant say that im fully happy and satisfied.. but im content. just gonna go with the flow & see where life takes me..

 <3: crys 

Random pics that should be posted:  Eh EH EHH

( comments are appreciated  )   i found my long lost brother- meet niigs.

HAHAHH GOOO mark!!!!!!   he got romped by this girl... & didnt even know it!!!

gotta love the niggs.  hey- thanx for everything. You know ive been dealing w/ a lot of shit lately.. and ya, it SUCKSSSS- but you always kept your head up and made sure that i'll be chillerrrzzz.. thanks for being such a great friend.. GO GET EM u MAN-WHORE!!!

ahhahah..

ps: (out there: if only you knew how much i miss u.  but ill only smile cuz i want you happy. even if its not with me. )

there have been a couple of things on my mind the past couple days- therefore, ive been somewhat keeping my distance from it all. dont get me wrong- im not trying to ignore you guys purposely, ive just been trying to find answers to it all. A lot of things happened unexpectedly - good and bad - and im just trying to make sense of it all. I cant wait to make it big one day, and just forget all the bullshit that has ever happened to me.. cuz by then, i know ive worked hard for what i deserved and hopefully by then, ill be happy. So as of now, im not going to worry. As of mixed signals, i dont want to deal with it anymore. I believe it either happens ... or it doesnt.  How easy can it get? Its either you WANT it.. or you dont.  Im tired of waiting now. I thought that that would be the best thing to do;  to wait.  Yet, i find out, it hasn't gotten me anywhere. I wish people spoke up as to what they want or at least what they feel they want, and not have soo much pride in themselves. Cuz if you think about it, having too much pride doesnt get you anywhere, and in the end, you still end up alone. Reading peoples minds doesnt help me at all. If anything, you need to be straight forward and just grow some balls and be open with feelings. So if you think im catching on to what youre trying todo- im not. I really dont get whats going on, unless you tell me. Lately, ive been unhappy with how a lot of things have been going, and maybe it is my fault for most of it- but overall, it still happened, and i guess maybe it is time to start moving.  on.  i've gotten signals to do so, ive heard things to make myself believe i should, so maybe its the best thing to do. Just wish someone could help me out on closure through it all, cuz its hard doing it alone.

@ anyway, im glad ive got certain friends to talk to about my issues.. and i know it may have seemed like i havent appreciated it, but i do. it helps to vent, it helped to cry, it helped me realize that its over and i guess its not coming back anymore. So, a new chapter in my life will soon be starting, i dont know when.. but prolly soon.  Friends, new loves, a new life, and a second chance at being happy. Till then, nothing but pictures of the people i care about and are there for.

<3: me